A few weeks ago, we have two nigh-perfect nights of sleep from Celeste and then it fell apart rather rapidly. I should back up and note that <touch wood>Celeste is a good baby, no signs of colic and most of the time pretty agreeable</touch wood>; however, it seems, in general she'd rather be awake. Not that she wants to be interacting with us 24/7 — actually her most common look I've already dubbed as the "I'm so out of here when I turn 18" look — but she wants us to at least be within eyeshot (preferably closer than that) and she does not want to fall asleep. During the day, when she hasn't napped for hours, you can see how hard she's working to keep the eyelids open.
When she's that worn down, I have found that stroking her forehead and sweeping down across the nose and eyes (tricking her to close her eyes) sometimes works. The eyelids are too heavy to pull back up. It may only buy 30 to 40 minutes of sleep, but it's something.
But getting back to a few weeks ago, we started swaddling her again. For a while it seemed the swaddling was unnecessary so we stopped; when the sleeping troubles kicked back in, it took us a little while to remember swaddling. The problem was that the startle reflex would kick in and with her arms free she'd practically shake herself awake. But swaddling would help stymie that action and help her sleep past that point.
This week, however, we had to shift strategies again. She hasn't lost the startle reflex 100%, but it has diminished and being swaddled was leading to big struggles to free her arms that would wake her up (and get her worked up).
It's a mixed bag thus far: She doesn't fight the swaddle, but she still fights sleep. Evelin seems to have the magic touch, but sometimes I can get her to sleep (see the eye trick above). Also, it seems my foolproof lullaby is not longer working. For about 10 days, The Smiths' "Cemetery Gates" worked like a charm; now it's old hat. She'll listen politely (and hopefully absorb the anti-plagiarism lesson from the lyrics), but it doesn't calm her to sleep anymore.
I don't know if the fighting sleep so hard is typical or not, but her overnights seem to be pretty much by the book. To bed somewhere between 7:00 p.m. and 8:00 p.m., awake for a feeding around midnight; awake again for 3:00 a.m. or so and then looking to wake up sometime around 7:00 a.m.
For us, the trouble point is the 3:00 a.m. feeding. Afterwards, she may catnap for a half hour or so, but then she starts talking or whinging to get our attention. If I go in to see what's what, she gives a nice big goofy smile that is so cute that I want to pick her up and play. Evelin (for good reasons) forbids such a reaction.
Monday night, we played the "Hey somebody come see me!" "Made you look!" game for about 90 minutes before we decided to bring her into our bed. Once there she looked back and forth happily at each of us for a while and then fell asleep. Tuesday night, I convinced Evelin to bring her to our bed after only a half hour of the game. She was a bit more up and took longer to fall asleep, but she was so happy and sweet, and I think we all sleep better this way. Evelin's not convinced, and she's rightly concerned about setting up a pattern that will not be easy to wean her from.
So, where we are now, is trying a bit of everything short of spiking her milk to get Celeste the sleep she needs (and, as a collateral benefit, the sleep Evelin and I need, too).
UPDATE: (from the comments): I don't want to jinx anything so the next paragraph is in Pig Latin*:
Eshay eptslay ettypray ellway astlay ightnay; oinggay otay edbay eforebay 8:00 pay.may., akingway aroundway idnightmay andway enthay eepingslay oughthray untilway aboutway 4:30 away.may. andway enthay eshay eptslay inway erhay ibcray untilway aboutway 6:45 away.may.!We'll see if it was an aberration or not tonight ...
*Unfortunately, it looks like that's only an English —> Pig Latin translator, so you're on your own for translation back to English ...
12 comments:
Please don't mind my butting in. I've heard so many scary stories about people who sleep with an infant in their bed and not realizing when they roll over on them or something. I don't know how common it actually is, but it's terrifying that it could happen. Is there any way you could bring her crib into your room? Possibly either next to your bed or at the end of it? -j.
Hi Jane! I appreciate the concern, but one thing I've learned since Evelin got pregnant is that for just about every data point for every detail of child rearing there are at least two data points that contradict it in different ways. Cosleeping has a lot of opponents, a lot of supporters, and a lot of waffling back and forth. We make sure Celeste has an area of the bed carved out for her and pillows and blankets are kept far away from her. Also, you'd be surprised how lightly you sleep when she's right there. (That said, the literature on cosleeping does strongly stress not cosleeping if you are taking any medications or anything else that might make you sleep very deeply; you do have to be careful.)
Hi Carter--
I'm sure you're not surprised that I'm posting that people don't roll over on their children in their sleep, unless they are drunk or very obese. It's a myth. And the more you co-sleep the more aware you are and yet, the better you sleep.
We're also back to where you are with 12:30 and 3:00 feedings. Have you read Dr. Sear's web site on this? He has a whole list of things to consider.
HEre's what's freaking me out: When Conor was sleeping through the night, he never yearned to come back to bed with us. He slept very well from 7 until 7, waking up and playing on his own in the crib. If ONLY we can get back to that stage!!
Finally, from what I've heard, if the child gets used to sleeping in the crib, there is less of a problem of weaning from the bed.
Surprised? No, I was counting on your commenting, Anita!
I need to read Sear's stuff; I know you're a big fan. Right now, I think the biggest issue is that since I'm not there for the fights over naps, I'm more willing to cut Celeste some nighttime slack; Evelin wants to make sure she gets the sleep she's not getting during the day.
I don't want to jinx anything so the next paragraph is in Pig Latin*:
Eshay eptslay ettypray ellway astlay ightnay; oinggay otay edbay eforebay 8:00 pay.may., akingway aroundway idnightmay andway enthay eepingslay oughthray untilway aboutway 4:30 away.may. andway enthay eshay eepslay inway erhay ibcray untilway aboutway 6:45 away.may.!We'll see if it was an aberration or not tonight ...
*Unfortunately, it looks like that's only an English —> Pig Latin translator, so you're on your own for translation back to English ...
I'm sending some links:
this one is specifcally for rolling over on the baby:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071100.asp#T071110
HEre's the link to his sleep section altogether:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp
We like the 8 things, the 31 ways and the FAQ.
Basically, we think Conor is in the early stages of teething and will not return to full night sleeping (LIKE HE WAS FOR A WHOLE MONHTH!!!! AAHHHH!) for a while!
Opehay ingsthay ontinuecay. :-)
Thanks, Anita!
"Cemetery Gates" as a lulluby is one of the coolest things I've read in ages! Morrissey would surely be rolling around in his crypt, were he dead.
Well, "Cemetry Gates" has a pretty good cadence that actually does (or did) seem to sooth her some, plus I can remember all the words. I've also been singing Billy Bragg's "A New England"; she likes the line about "it's wrong to wish on space hardware..."
Ah, another good one; even better than the other, in fact (IMNSHO, of course). Now I'm humming it. Aigh!
She'll need a little socialist sweater soon.
Thanks for all the info... I had no idea it was mostly hype. -j.
Anoother really good book to help with baby sleep is called The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. I so wish we had discovered it a little earlier in Liam's life than we did... but it definitely helped all the same. I think it has a foreward by William Sears too, from memory.
Thanks, Kay! I know we have a stack of books (Evelin's much better at reading through them than I am), so I'll check and see if that's one we have or need to pick up ...
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